Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize