So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
