I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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