i just had sex bonerless
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize