K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
