I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize