Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
