that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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