just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
its liver damage thursday
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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