Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
