Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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