I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
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