how can u be prego again
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
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Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
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