Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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