the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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