I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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