I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
