i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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