Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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