so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
