Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
