@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
