grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
