I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
