So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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