Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize