Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
