I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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