I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
