It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
