good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
