Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
