Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
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You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
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I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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