I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize