And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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