i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
