a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I AM VODKA MAN
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
