just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
