toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
