a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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