never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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