can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
My life is pants optional.
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