you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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