you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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