I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize