I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
