I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
