Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
wat bout pragnant strippers??
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I cockslap morals
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
