Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
