I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize