i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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