Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
