I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
