so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
