in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
