she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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