The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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