Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
