so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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